GAVARRE BENJAMIN: THE COPYCAT IGUANA.

 

THE COPYCAT IGUANA

by Benjamin Gavarre

THE COPYCAT IGUANA © 2026 by BENJAMIN GAVARRE is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0

Characters:

• Izzy the Iguana: Green, with an orange crest. She’s energetic but incredibly boastful and a total copycat. She’s convinced she can do anything just as well as—or better than—anyone else.

• Old Saguaro: A tall, wise cactus who lives in the heart of the desert. He speaks slowly, is very warm-hearted, and loves a good sentimental moment.

• Harriet the Hare: Hyperactive, athletic, and the undisputed long-jump champion of the dunes.

• Pip the Roadrunner: Speedy, enthusiastic, and a little bit scatterbrained.

Setting: A bright, golden desert with low mountains in the background. In the center, a large green cactus (Old Saguaro) casts some shade. There are cardboard rocks and tumbleweeds on the sides—perfect for a colorful, hand-painted school stage.

ACT I

(As the curtain opens, Old Saguaro is standing in the center with his arms raised in a classic cactus pose. Izzy the Iguana is lounging on a cardboard boulder, sunbathing and occasionally sticking out her tongue).

OLD SAGUARO: (Yawning) Ah, what a beautiful day in the desert! Not too cold, not too hot... well, actually it’s quite hot, but that’s the way we like it.

IZZY: (Lifting her head haughtily) Speak for yourself, Saguaro. This sun makes my scales look like shimmering emeralds. I am clearly the most spectacular creature in the sand!

OLD SAGUARO: You are very pretty, Izzy, nobody’s denying that. But remember, everyone in the desert has their own special gift.

IZZY: Oh, please! "Special gift?" Anyone with four legs and a tail as fabulous as mine can do what everyone else does... only better!

(Harriet the Hare bounds onto the stage, doing dramatic acrobatic leaps from one side to the other).

HARRIET: One, two, three, flips in the air! Four, five, six, leap if you dare! Hey, Old Saguaro! Hey, Izzy! I’m training for the Great Dune Olympics!

OLD SAGUARO: Wow, Harriet! Look at that bounce! You're like a brand-new spring.

IZZY: (Laughing mockingly) You call those jumps, floppy ears? Please! I can leap just like you—without needing antenna-sized ears to do it.

HARRIET: (Stopping abruptly) Oh, really? But Izzy, you have tiny little legs. You’re good at climbing rocks, not hopping over bushes.

IZZY: (Offended) Tiny legs? Watch and learn from a pro! (High-pitched, imitating) "One, two, three, leap if you dare!"

(Izzy takes a ridiculously huge run-up, runs clumsily, and tries to jump. Instead of soaring, she face-plants onto the stage with a loud "splat!").

IZZY: (Face covered in paper-shred "sand", spitting) Pff, pff! That... that sand was uneven! And besides, I meant to land face-first to inspect... for ants!

HARRIET: (Holding back a laugh) Right, Izzy, sure. Just watch you don't dent your fancy crest.

(Pip the Roadrunner zooms onto the stage, making motor noises with his mouth: "Beep-beep, vroom-vroom!").

PIP: Make way, folks, I've got no brakes! Beep-beep! Just did three laps around the big hill in ten seconds! Did anyone see my shadow? I think I left it behind a mile ago!

OLD SAGUARO: Impressive, Pip! You kicked up so much dust you almost made my spines sneeze.

IZZY: (Dusting herself off and stepping in front of Pip) Ha! Ten seconds? How slow! I can run just like you, you messy-feathered bird. In fact, if I really try, I'll finish tomorrow's race yesterday!

PIP: (Tilting his head, curious) You, Izzy? But iguanas are known for their slow, sashaying walk... like this! (Imitates a slow, waddling crawl).

IZZY: Nobody tells me how to run! Check out my supersonic speed! "Beep-beep, make way!"

(Izzy starts furiously pumping her legs in place like a cartoon, rushes forward with her eyes closed in vanity, trips on her own tail, and rolls over three times, landing upside down next to a tumbleweed).

HARRIET: (Rushing to help) Oh my goodness! Are you okay, Izzy?

IZZY: (Scrambling up, dizzy and disheveled) Totally fine! That was my famous "dizzy tail-spin braking technique." You guys know nothing about extreme sports.

OLD SAGUARO: Oh, Izzy, Izzy... Trying to be a copycat and mock everyone else's hard work has gotten you a face-plant and a tumble. Why can't you just enjoy being an iguana?

IZZY: (Crossing her arms, pouting) Because being just an iguana is boring! Everyone loves Harriet for her jumps, Pip for his speed... and you because you’re the tallest and everyone needs your shade when it's hot! (Gasps as an idea strikes her) That's it! I'll be just like you, Saguaro!

OLD SAGUARO: (Surprised) Just like me? But I'm a cactus. My job is to stand perfectly still under the blazing midday sun and offer shade to my friends.

IZZY: Pshaw! Standing still with your arms up is the easiest thing in the universe. From this moment on, I am Lady Iguana-Cactus, Queen of the Shade!

(Izzy climbs onto a low prop rock next to Old Saguaro, stands on two legs, sucks in her tummy, and raises her arms in the exact bent-cactus posture).

PIP: Uh, Izzy, the midday sun is at its peak. You’re cold-blooded—if you stay there without moving, you’re going to bake like a potato...

IZZY: (Speaking through clenched teeth, frozen) Shh! Cactuses do not talk to hyperactive birds. Look at this elegant shade I'm casting.

HARRIET: (Squinting at the ground) Well... your shade looks more like a squished lizard, but okay. We're going to shelter under Old Saguaro because it is boiling out here!

(Harriet and Pip sit comfortably in the shade of Old Saguaro, fanning themselves. A few seconds pass. "Heat waves" are waved by stagehands. Izzy begins to tremble violently; her arms droop, she sweats visibly, and her tongue hangs out longer and longer).

OLD SAGUARO: Izzy... you're turning a shade of boiled-lime green. Please get down.

IZZY: (Trembling like jelly) No... I'm... just... like... you! I can handle the sun... the prickles... the drought! Oh, boy, my toes are on fire!

PIP: Her knees are buckling!

HARRIET: She’s going to pass out! Quick, Pip, help me!

IZZY: (Hallucinating, swaying) I see... I see skateboarding cactus-fairies... Help, I'm melting!

(Before Izzy can collapse, Harriet and Pip rush over, catch her by the arms, and gently drag her to the cool shade under Old Saguaro. Old Saguaro tilts one of his cardboard arms, offering her a "juicy cactus fruit" prop).

OLD SAGUARO: Here, little one. Have some fresh fruit to cool down.

(Izzy takes a bite and sighs with immense relief. She slowly catches her breath and looks at her friends, embarrassed).

IZZY: (Softly) Thanks... If you guys hadn't dragged me over, I'd be a fried iguana chip by now.

HARRIET: You really scared us! Why do you try so hard to compete with us all the time?

IZZY: (Sighing) It’s just... you all do such amazing things. I thought if I couldn't do exactly what you do, no one would think I was special. I guess I understand now that everyone has their own talent... I'm sorry for being such a copycat.

PIP: (Touched) Aw, that was really sweet, Izzy! You're the best rock-climber we know, and no one can camouflage like you!

OLD SAGUARO: (Becoming very solemn and sentimental) That's right. The beauty of the desert is that we're all different. Oh, dear... that was so touching, I think I might cry! (He lets out a hilarious, high-pitched "Sniff-wheeze!" sob, like a whistling tea kettle, while a tiny pink flower pops out on the top of his cactus head).

HARRIET: (Sniffling, wiping her eyes with her long ears, which get tangled on her face) Oh, Old Saguaro, don't cry with that squeaky noise, you'll make me start!

PIP: (Hugging Old Saguaro’s trunk, then instantly jumping back) Oh, what a beautiful moment! Wait—ouch, ouch, ouch! Prickled my beak trying to be sentimental!

(Izzy watches them. Suddenly, she covers her mouth, her shoulders shaking violently as she tries to contain herself).

HARRIET: (Softly) Look at Izzy! She’s shaking with emotion! We made her cry with all this love!

IZZY: (Revealing her face, completely doubled over in laughter, pointing at them) Hahaha! Emotion? I'm not crying, I’m dying of laughter! Look at yourselves! You're a total comedy show! (Imitates Old Saguaro) "Sniff-wheeze, the desert is so beautiful!" Ol' Saguaro, you cry like a squeaky toy, and with that little flower, you look like a giant cucumber wearing a prom corsage! And you two—one has her ears tangled like wet socks, and the other got poked like a feathered Pinocchio! Hahaha!

(The cast pauses in shocked silence).

OLD SAGUARO: (Genuinely offended) Izzy! That is absolutely outrageous! Laughing at my emotional moments—and my fancy gala flower!

HARRIET: (Hands on her hips) You are truly hopeless! We worry about you, and you laugh at our tears!

PIP: (Rubbing his beak) Beep-beep! You really are something, Izzy! Not even a heat stroke can cure your mocking ways!

IZZY: (Falling over on a prop rock, laughing till she cries) Hahaha! Oh, sorry, sorry! I swear! It's just you guys made the funniest faces, I couldn't hold it back! I'll try to change, I really will... for the next time! Next time I'll be on my best behavior, scout's honor! (Keeps giggling).

(Harriet, Pip, and Old Saguaro try to stay mad, but Izzy’s laughter is too contagious. Harriet and Pip can't help but chuckle as they begin to exit).

HARRIET: (Laughing, shaking her head) Yeah, right! The day you stop being a copycat is the day my ears shrink!

PIP: (Giggling and waving as he exits) We'll see, Izzy, we'll see! See you tomorrow, Mr. Cactus!

HARRIET: (Waving goodbye) See you, Mr. Cactus! Keep that pretty flower safe!

OLD SAGUARO: (Laughing heartily, waving his cactus arms) Goodbye, kids! And as for you, you copycat iguana... you'd better hold your laughter next time!

IZZY: (Looking at the audience with a mischievous wink) I swear I will... at least for five whole minutes! Hahaha!

(Everyone laughs as the curtain falls to upbeat, playful music).

THE END

THE COPYCAT IGUANA © 2026 by BENJAMIN GAVARRE is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0