A Sundae for Two
by GAVARREBENJAMIN
Setting: A retro ice cream parlor near a university campus in Los Angeles. AJ (Armando) sits at a small table, staring at his phone with visible heartbreak. Ben (Bea) enters, walking as if on stilts, wearing a brunette wig and a floral vintage dress. Luke (Lucas) follows closely behind, dressed as a waiter with an apron and a notepad, hovering like a hawk.
BEN: (Sitting down abruptly, nearly falling) Hi! I’m… Bea! A friend of… Sophie, from the library. You know, from the front desk.
AJ: (Startled, but polite) The library? Oh… is this about the work-study internship? I did leave my contact info there, right?
BEN: Yes, exactly! You left your name… and your info… and your photo. And that’s how I know who you are, and why… I’m here. I found you… because of the photo.
AJ: Look, Bea—if that’s your name—I think I’m gonna pass for now. There was a time when I wanted to be a student assistant, you know? Network with the faculty, help out… but now…
BEN: Bea. But you can call me… Beverly.
LUKE: (Approaching as the waiter, stepping hard on Ben’s foot) Bea is fine! Don’t make it complicated!
BEN: Bea, Bea, Bea…
AJ: I don’t know, Bea. I’m just not feeling it. Honestly, I’m not interested in anything right now. My life is a mess. I wake up, go to class, and look at the empty seat next to mine where my friend Ben used to sit. Then I go home and eat stale Cheerios. I don’t have the headspace to be an intern. Even my neighbor's cat looks at me with pity. I lost my North Star… all because I didn’t know how to say "I love you" at the right time.
BEN: (Gulping hard, trying to maintain a "professional woman" persona) But… the library needs committed people! And life goes on, right? I mean, you’re here now, processing an internship with me… a woman from… administration. A real woman. With flowers on her dress and… filing skills. Maybe this is the "change of scenery" your resume needs.
AJ: (With a heavy sigh) Maybe you’re right. Maybe I should just fill out the forms and stop thinking about him. Maybe I should try to be into other people. People who don't argue with me about dirty Converse vs. brand-new Nikes. You know what I mean?
BEN: (Leaning in, forgetting the high voice for a second) And what would that person be like? For the… "internship profile," we need to know your… affinities. Hypothetically, if you had to pick a woman right now, what would you look for? Would you like someone… like me?
AJ: (Frowning) Is this a standard question for the Archives Department?
BEN: (Quickly) It’s for "organizational climate"! Very important. But tell me, visually… are you attracted to women with… strong features? Do you like, for example, a… robust bone structure?
AJ: (Confused) That’s a really weird question, Bea.
BEN: It’s to see if you’re detail-oriented! A good intern notices details. But tell me, do you like girls with a lot of character? Or do you prefer something more… delicate? Do you like brunettes with hair that’s a bit… stiff? Hair that maybe looks like a wig because of… an academic bet?
AJ: (Laughing for the first time, a bitter laugh) Bea, you are the strangest recruiter on campus. Honestly, I always thought I liked "delicate." But lately, I’ve realized that what I miss most about my friend is exactly how "un-delicate" he is. I miss his big hands, his voice that sounds like thunder when he laughs, and even that cheap cologne he uses that smells like a gas station pine tree. I don't think any "librarian" can fill that hole.
LUKE: (Passing by with a tray, whispering in Ben’s ear while dropping the ice cream) Stop asking about your jawline and try to be more feminine!
AJ: What did the waiter say?
BEN: (Nervous, shoving a giant spoonful of ice cream into his mouth) He asked if we’re splitting the check! (Muffled by the ice cream) So… you don’t like women like me? So… "professional"?
AJ: It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s just… (He tries to clean his glasses with a napkin but only smudges them more). It’s just that you have a way of looking at me, Bea… an energy. And I don’t want to be rude, but I’m not interested in the library, and I’m not interested in women. Period. I hope you’re not offended.
BEN: (Leaning in with genuine stubbornness) But visually! Are you attracted to women with… heavy brows? Shadowy eyelids? Or maybe women who drink too much coffee?
AJ: (Frowning) Heavy brows? Shadowy lids? That’s very specific, Bea.
BEN: (Fast) It’s a trend! It’s called "Shadow-Contouring." Very chic. But tell me, do you like girls with character? Or something… dainty? You definitely don't like brunettes with curly hair, right?
AJ: (Bitter laugh) Bea, you’re obsessed with my "preferences inventory." Truth is, I only talked about girls to please my family and my "bro" friends—who I’m not even sure were real friends. The truth is, I’m in love. And I didn't even know it myself.
LUKE: (Appearing with the check) If you’re ready to order dessert… we have raspberry flan or "Shut-Your-Mouth" bran muffins.
BEN (Bea): Sparkling water, no ice. And a Mint Chocolate Chip sundae.
AJ: (Looking at Bea) You know… you have his eyes. My friend Ben… he’s authentic, you know? He doesn’t care about appearances. He wears whatever is clean. He won’t change his jeans or his t-shirt for anything. He won’t even change his socks unless it’s a legal requirement. He’s just… real. Not like these people full of filters and brand names.
BEN: (Excited, dropping the persona) He misses you too, AJ! He even bought those stupid shell-toe Adidas you like just to please you!
AJ: (Shocked) How do you know that?
LUKE: (Intervening fast) Female intuition! It’s science! Free chocolate sauce, on the house! Enjoy! (He mimes "zip it" to Ben).
AJ: (To Ben) You’re very sweet, Bea. And your intuition is… very feminine.
BEN: Yeah, well… when I get nervous, I eat sweets.
AJ: Yeah… you’re just like—no, forget it. Never mind.
(Ben starts eating the sundae desperately. Chocolate smudges his nose. The wig slides to the side, covering one ear. AJ looks at him with a melancholy smile, still not "seeing.")
BEN: (Face covered in chocolate) It’s just… (He grabs the napkin and rubs his face with brutal force, scrubbing left to right). AJ, I have to tell you something…
(Ben finishes wiping. The beige foundation has vanished from his upper lip, revealing a perfectly defined mustache. The rest of his face is still ghostly white with powder.)
AJ: (Freezes. Looks at the mustache. Looks at the crooked wig. Looks into Ben’s eyes). Bea… you… you’ve got something there.
BEN: (Terrified) What? Mint chocolate? (He rubs more, revealing his cleft chin).
AJ: No. You have… (Longue pause) the most beautiful mustache I’ve ever seen on a "student librarian." (He starts to laugh through tears). Ben! You animal! What are you doing dressed like this?! (AJ starts to shake, somewhere between laughing and crying. He reaches out and straightens the wig, which now looks like a fallen bird's nest). Ben! You absolute idiot! Why are you dressed like my Great-Aunt?!
BEN: (In his deep baritone voice, giving up) Because you said my Converse were gross! I thought you wanted someone… with clean white sneakers! Luke helped me turn into the "professional woman" you always talked about! I’m wearing a girdle, AJ! I can’t even breathe! It would have been easier if you’d said you liked cheerleaders!
AJ: (Silent for a second, then explodes into a clean, relieved laugh). To hell with cheerleaders! I miss you. Dirty sneakers, stinky socks, and all!
BEN: (Crying with laughter, pulling off the wig to reveal flattened, sweaty hair) So you don’t want the "sexy professional"?
AJ: (Taking his hands, ignoring the smeared makeup) I want the sexy, smelly dork who dresses in flowers just so I’ll talk to him.
(AJ leans across the table and kisses Ben. Luke drops his notepad and starts clapping wildly as the other students in the shop start recording the scene on their phones.)
AJ: By the way… nice mustache, "Bea." And I see you didn't even take off your dirty Converse for the costume.
LUKE: (Stepping in) I told him, AJ! I told him to change them, but this "woman" is stubborn, I tell you!
AJ: Thanks, Luke. I owe you one.
LUKE: You owe me for the sundaes. And the chocolate cake is on the house.
AJ: (Laughing) Your friend is funny.
BEN: Yeah, well… he does stand-up on the side. He’s a man of many talents.
(They all laugh. Fade to black.)
